When you miss what used to be
(I originally posted this message to my personal Facebook account on August 16, 2023. I’m posting it here in case someone who’s stumbled across my blog is hurting and needs to hear it.)
“How I long for the months gone by…” Job 29:2
I know what it’s like to long for the past. To look back at the way things were before the unexpected happened and miss what was but is no more. For me, it’s that time in my life when I was married and had children living at home. Maybe for you it’s a relationship with someone you’ve lost through death or dementia. Or the health you once enjoyed. Or the job you once loved. Maybe it’s the life you had before you made the bad choices.
Getting stuck in the past is easy. Just like when your car gets stuck in mud, once you’re stuck all you have to do to stay stuck is …nothing.
Getting unstuck is hard. Something has to change, and since the past can’t change, that something has to be YOU. You have to accept the loss of the life you once loved and trust that God’s plans are working to do you good. You have to stop listening to those lying voices in your head and start listening to scripture. You have to pray, get alone and talk to God like He’s a real person because He is. Talk to Him out loud if you need to. Be honest and pour out your feelings. He already knows what you’re thinking, there’s no point in holding back. Trust that He’s listening and that He will answer. Maybe not in the way you want Him to, and probably not as quickly, but we have to trust that, as a wise and good God, He will respond in the best way and at the perfect time. Trust that He loves you.
When I look back at my own journey, I see now that even when I didn’t think I was moving forward, I was. (The fact that I just called it a “journey” proves this!) Very often now I catch myself loving this new life, this new “normal”, and marvel how I got here. There’s never been a “page turn” when I suddenly felt healed. It’s come about in indiscernible increments as I’ve trained myself to examine the voices in my head to see if they line up with the truth of scripture. I still hurt sometimes, still get an ache in my chest when I remember the sweetness of my past life. But I’m finding purpose in these new circumstances that, while different from previous purposes, is just as sweet.
And you can, too. ❤️