When it seems life will never feel normal again
(I originally posted this message to my personal Facebook account on July 28, 2023. I’m posting it here in case someone who’s stumbled across my blog is hurting and needs to hear it.)
Ever since my children were little, I’ve kept journals. I’ve never had a set time or way of writing in them, I just used them to jot down things I wanted to remember. They’re full of stories about the kids, funny things they said or did. Trips to the park, holiday traditions, summer evenings spent playing in the backyard. Vacations our family took and the moments that made them special. The handwriting is messy because I would usually be too tired or too busy to scrawl anything but a few notes. I just wanted some way for my future self to remember how special my mundane little life was and how blessed I felt being a wife and mother. My kids are grown now but they still love to pull these notebooks out from time to time and read them, and so do I. It helps us remember how blessed our lives have been.
However, there’s one journal in this stack that’s not full of “good” memories. It’s not even full. Like the others, the pages start with sweet memories but then the time between entries grows longer and the content becomes sadder and finally the pages just go blank as my life entered an unexpectedly dark season that I didn’t want to experience much less remember. I decided my journal writing days were over. Two years passed without me recording any “memories”.
Then, last Christmas, one of my students gave me a pretty little hardback notebook. I took it home and let it sit on my nightstand for a few weeks as I tried to decide how to use it. I thought about making it a prayer journal or using it for creative writing. But then one day I was working around the house, reminiscing about some of the good memories I’d made recently, and it hit me—there had been lots of stuff happening in my life that I wanted to remember! Trips I had taken with my kids. Conversations we had shared. Fun times I’d had with family and friends. Suddenly, I knew exactly how I wanted to use that notebook. I grabbed my pen and started writing!
I'm glad to say the pages of this newest journal are now filling up. Just this morning I spent half an hour writing about some of the sweet moments I’ve experienced over the past two weeks. It’s true that it’s taken some time for life to feel good after the unexpected derailed my “normal”- a lot of processing had to take place, a lot of grappling with hard realities—but God has been faithful to bring me to a new normal that is just as full of special, sweet, funny moments as my past. And He will be faithful to you, too, my friend. So if you’re in a hard season right now where nothing feels good or normal, I want to encourage you to keep going to God with your pain. Keep reciting His promises and fighting to believe them. Because He IS faithful, and His words ARE true. He has not forsaken you, even though you may not be able to feel Him right now. It may take a few weeks or a few months or even a few years, but eventually God’s good purposes for allowing you to suffer will be accomplished and He will restore your joy to an even higher level than it was before the hard thing happened. Life will feel good again, I promise. ❤️
“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:13-14
“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.” Lamentations 3:31-32